On listening to what's calling
Helping a neighbour water her plants
It’s my last week of sabbatical. It’s been unconventional for what a sabbatical ought to be because of all the dimensions I’ve been accessing the past 7 months.
Every few days is a new subchapter within the larger chapter of my sabbatical. Some subchapters are full of energy. Some are for solo parenting so my wife can pursue her intense career. Some are literally just cooking, cleaning, and napping, so I can stay afloat and ride the next wave of creativity when it comes.
The first couple of days of my last week have been the latter. I napped most of the day yesterday as I stopped drinking coffee cold-turkey and I suspect caffeine from coffee masks fatigue. So I was catching up on rest that I was previously neglecting during a bout of solo parenting and buying a new house.
Today started off stronger since I was more rested, but I could sense there was a residue of fatigue that was preventing me from accessing the mental clarity I work hard on sustaining day-in, day-out, so I can make a living as a coach.
Despite an underlying tiredness, I was excited to read and write, so I created a bit of a game plan on how to pursue some writing. My game plans always consist of strategizing which spot in which neighbourhood using which method of transit to sit down and either consume or create ideas.
I headed out and was walking to the metro station when I saw one of my neighbours sitting down in 35-degree (celsius) weather. It was Madame Rose, who is like 80-something and didn’t look so comfortable in the heat, but also didn’t look like she was planning to move anytime soon.
I asked her how she’s handling the heat, and she told me she’s been struggling to get up so she can water the dozens of plants she’s planted along our street for the neighbourhood to enjoy. One of her projects consists of an arrangement that serves as a memorial for Soso, who was shot dead on the street corner 4 years ago. Needless to say, these aren’t just plants; they represent the courage and solidarity of our neighbourhood.
I was excited to head out and explore and do my thing, so I told her when I come back in the afternoon I could water the plants for her. She was so happy.
Then one of my mental habits that I’ve worked diligently on popped up in my head. It said, “Why not help her right now? You are on sabbatical. Aren’t you all about serendipity in the name of connection?”
This was my self-honesty at work. It made a good point I couldn’t refute: There was every reason, according to my personal values, why I should be helping Madame Rose right now.
I knew it would bring me energy to do so, and that energy in turn would catalyze the thing I was eager to do instead of helping her. Win-win.
So I started watering the plants around. What I thought would be a 5-minute commitment, ended up turning into a half-hour watering session, as she continued to show me around the bend of the ruelle how many more plants lined up against her fence.
Another mental habit came up, one I’ve been (im)patiently working with for as long as I can remember, and we’ve gotten especially intimate this past year since I’ve been a dad. It went something like, “Jeez, this woman is squeezing every bit of goodwill outta me. I really have somewhere to go. It’s almost lunchtime now, it doesn’t even make sense to take the metro and go write. Then it’s the afternoon and my day is over. This is so annoying.”
I’ve learned to let this guy blow off his steam by yelling into the void, and when he’s done, letting him know I heard him. All he really needs is to bark for a bit so that he’s listened to, then he disappears. There’s probably a better way to figure out my impatient self’s mechanics, so comment if you have any suggestions.
The beautiful irony is that by watering her plants, I had something I wanted to write about. My wisest self, deciding to help out Madame Rose, led me to feel more energy. Specifically, that feeling of expansiveness, of extending into the world around me, creating a cohesion that brings me alive. As a result, there are multiple beneficiaries: myself, Madame Rose, and our community.
These moments serve as invitations from the world around me. Instead of reading about life or writing about life, I was invited to get in touch with Life itself. The very thing I was trying to understand through reading & writing, was yearning for me to engage with it. I’m so glad I had the presence to pick up on the opportunity that was right in front of me.
So, my invitation to you, reader, is to engage with someone around you today that you otherwise would have shrugged off or dismissed, intentionally or not. Connectivity, joy, purpose…all of it is on the other side of engaging with others.